Still Waiting

           As graduation approaches, I believe my anxiety level is still rising. Between what seems to be an undergraduate dissertation and somewhat of a social life, I feel spread thin. But that’s okay, God is still good and working!

In other posts I have talked about just waiting on God to give me a “sign” about the next step in the Princes’ adventure. Low and behold, I think I got one. Recently Sydney has expressed her desire for missions, and I’m not talking globally. After a lot of hard conversations, she told me she fills called to start a ministry in Troy. Now how do I take that? My natural (stupid) answer was, “if that were his will don’t you think I would feel that way too?” …. Wrong

After a lot of prayer, I feel that God has “put my foot in my mouth” once again. Though I am the spiritual leader of our family, that doesn’t mean God can’t speak to my wife. Thinking back on the argument, I must have looked like a complete “donkey”.

With everything in mind, God is still teaching me humility. With everything that goes into start a small ministry, all I can see are the costs. My wife can only see the benefits of starting one.  To be mindful in both areas is Godly and being a good steward, but in reality my greed prevents me from seeing the potential. Maybe it’s a part of me that still thinks we are leaving Troy or could it be my unwillingness to commit to God’s plan? More importantly, was it my pride rising up because I wasn’t the one who was called first.

I know it seems that I repeat myself, but it’s true. Again and again, my need to be self-sustaining chokes out the opportunities God has presented me with.  Not only that, put it cripples my ability to hear a word from others as well. I mean what type of person says, “Well, I don’t think we need to start a ministry.” Just stupid…

So after a few weeks of God showing me how much I suck, the answer is pretty clear. In the next few months, my wife and I will hopefully be prepared to start showing our business plan to others. Looking at the margin of what I have financially and what we need, my stomach knots up. Adding in the fact that I am still waiting for a job after graduation really adds to it. But one thing remains, God will always provide for his will. Whether that is someone writing a check or volunteers to come work once everything is said and done. Regardless the outcome or journey, He is good.