As I am writing this blog post, I have one final exam and less than 10 days left on Troy’s campus as an undergraduate. I just have a whirlwind of emotions right now. Joy, hope, regret, uneasiness, peace, and thankfulness.
The past few months have been incredibly hard. Hard to meet with God, get my school work done, make time for my wife, and finding the time to look for a job. Though it was for the sake of “graduating”, was it worth it? I spent the past month with my head up my rear end I have fallen short in almost every area of my life. Sucks to admit it, but heck…. humans suck.
I guess figuring out where to start back with relationships, people, and God is quite exhausting. Just trying to sit down to read, my mind is prone to wander about the future, past, and anything in between. But no more.
Today marks the start of a new chapter. Even though life doesn’t get easier, and frankly when your last name is Prince stuff doesn’t come easy, we get comfortable with it. I got comfortable working as much as I could on school work and only putting in the minimal amount of effort in my relationship with my wife and Christ.
But grace remains. Even in my ignorance and disobedience, Christ still calls me to life above the status quo. A life where there is more to it then graduating college, but running a constant race. Race to finish even if you feel like you cannot take another step. I wish so much to just hit the restart button and direct myself to Christ more than I have this semester or in my college career as a whole.
More so, my wife shows compassion and patience. Even in the midst of family turmoil, she puts all of that aside to show me the compassion and understanding of Christ. She sets the expectations Christ gave and her expectations are quite clear to me. Even if it frustrates me to no end, her intentions are to stir me into good work. This quality she possesses is a blessing to me and a spectacle of beauty.
I say all of that to state, my feet hurt. I’ve focused on running the race, but forgot which lane I needed to be in. In this time of celebration I feel more broken, beat down, and exhausted than anything. I forgot what I was running for. It’s not for myself or my own gain, but it is to let my life be anoffering in whatever I do, say, and think about. Though the exhaustion and pain feel like a mountain, I must stay the course by running the race.
No comments:
Post a Comment