Losing Control

Part II

There is nothing that excites me more than reading a passage of scripture that starts with the phase “But God”. The amount of overwhelming love accompanied by that statement is something I am just now learning in my own life.

But God, all the while knowing my faults and inability to fully trust him, still paid the way for my salvation. I’m finding out more and more that God uses those moments of inner-chaos, to redirect me eyes and feet back towards Him.

How crazy is it to think that a person could be so rich in love that nothing you could do would hold back in overtaking compassion? I find myself even when reflecting and writing about this just wanting the feeling of utter nearness to remain constant.

God knowingly sees my lack of trust, points it out to me, and still says, “But let me help you”.  I found myself this week praying for a love like that in every area of my life.  Every time I sit down to put pen to paper about my encounters with God, I am finding a new facet of His character.

            How awesome is it to serve a God whose reasoning is above our own understanding? Absolutely awesome would be my answer. Because every time I’m shown my own depravity He provides a way back to Himself.

            I needed to loose control. I need to let go of every little detail I try to manipulate or control. The honest truth was I was fooling myself, I never once had control. But the hardest part was really letting go.

            Being able to mask emotions and seem on top of the world might be normal to most people, but Christ calls true believers to a life of humility and openness. This idea of superiority is a false identity the current society forces on many.

            This past week I have handled very differently. Instead of feeding my own need to correct or construe situations in my favor, I’m finding out that loving Christ is more worth while. The time I spend trying to control my own destiny and outcomes are just seconds I have wasted in the past. Now trying to trust God in these unfavorable circumstances is more beneficial to my walk, marriage, and personal growth.

Standing for Truth

          I don’t know if many of you have read about Kanye West’s new album or not, but it is very controversial to say the least. I have unfortunately found a couple of articles about the “Gospel Album” nature of this recent release.

            An unknown fact is that Kurt Franklin, yes THE Kurt Franklin, helped Kanye in the studio making processes of this album. For those of you who don’t know, Franklin is known to run in the circles involving the prosperity gospel teacher T. D. Jakes. He has being in the Christian music scene for quite a while. Side note, here is a link to a song that caught a lot of attention a few years ago about revolving around a few main streamed “pastors”.

            Franklin went on record claiming Kanye’s new album was a “Gospel album with a whole lot of cussing”. Of course Kanye gives props to God for this new album. Due to recent events at a well known night show, I thought I would put in my two-sense about “The Life Of Pablo” and Mr. West.

            This is not a Gospel album. After listening to it and hearing the mentions and nice literary element trying to “point” to God, this album falls flat. And here is why.

            If this is a “Gospel” album, where is Mr. West’s fruit. It is one thing to mention God in a statement. Muslims, Hindus, Mormon, etc. all mention God. A Gospel album, well logically, would point to the Gospel of Christ.

            If there was just a glimpse of fruit in the artist’s life, then why is it that all we hear are self-glorifying statements from him? Between ruining award ceremonies, getting caught on tape being a jerk, or even just hearing what is quoted by Mr. West, I can’t see a Gospel themed life that points to Christ.

            It truly burdened my heart that people will go out and pick up/listen to this pointless album because a “Christian” artist endorsed it. Talk about robbing people blind.

            Maybe it is the extreme tendency to throw out the baby with the bath water when it comes to celebrities and Christ, but I feel in this day in age believers need to be vigilant and know the truth. For a believer the Gospel must be seen in their lives. 

            Am I saying the gospel can’t save a life of sin? OF COURSE NOT! My argument is that followers of Christ need to be prepared to defend the truth and test all spirts. For the only way we know each other is by our fruit.

Building Character

        The past couple weeks, our church has been going through a sermon series about the nature of God’s character. This has sparked many great conversations at home and with other believers.

         This past week we focused on the nature of God in the midst of a crisis or trial. I was so thankful to have heard that message and being reminded just how great the nature of God is.

 I often talk about trials and how believers need to press on through them, but I feel like that is only looking at half of the picture. Looking at Psalms 34 (the passage we focused on last Sunday), David does a great job giving a real life description of the God head’s character.

For me, I often find myself viewing trials and struggles as something to over come and grow from. This is such a good truth, that I forget to look at the big picture. We all know God is with us through our struggles, but personally I forget that it is an intimate part of it.

         Psalms 34 talks about God’s ear being to the broken hearted. Maybe it is just my calloused heart and mind, but I have never had that passage hit home as much as it did.

         I often forget that God is so near and close in the midst of my struggle that I rely on myself to “power through” it. How broken am I that I forget the Fatherly nature of God and just focus on the need to “surpass” or overcome my own issues.

         This past week as I have been reflecting on that hard word, I was reminded of God’s personality and intimate character.

         In 2014, I lost my grandfather. Such a devastating time for myself and my family for many reasons. But I remember just how broken I was. All the regret I felt for not spending more time with him and the blatant hatred I felt in my heart because of it.

         For weeks and weeks, I was crying out to God for some type of piece in the midst of his death and my sin. I found myself just leaving Troy one weekend just to be alone.

         In that time, seeking God and begging for an escape. Never once did I realize God was there with me in my sorrow. As time went on, wounds healed as they always do. It wasn’t until almost a year later I realized God heard my cries.

         Looking back, I wish I had the patience and understanding I have now during that unfortunate time. All the while, I am so thankful for learning.

         In the midst of struggle, God is near us. We often don’t know or understand that, because we focus too much on the issue rather than who provides the solution. I am so thankful God has allowed struggle and brokenness to come to me and teach me to look at Him in the midst not the end. I am glad God used my issues now and then to build up my character in His likeness.