Losing Control

Part II

There is nothing that excites me more than reading a passage of scripture that starts with the phase “But God”. The amount of overwhelming love accompanied by that statement is something I am just now learning in my own life.

But God, all the while knowing my faults and inability to fully trust him, still paid the way for my salvation. I’m finding out more and more that God uses those moments of inner-chaos, to redirect me eyes and feet back towards Him.

How crazy is it to think that a person could be so rich in love that nothing you could do would hold back in overtaking compassion? I find myself even when reflecting and writing about this just wanting the feeling of utter nearness to remain constant.

God knowingly sees my lack of trust, points it out to me, and still says, “But let me help you”.  I found myself this week praying for a love like that in every area of my life.  Every time I sit down to put pen to paper about my encounters with God, I am finding a new facet of His character.

            How awesome is it to serve a God whose reasoning is above our own understanding? Absolutely awesome would be my answer. Because every time I’m shown my own depravity He provides a way back to Himself.

            I needed to loose control. I need to let go of every little detail I try to manipulate or control. The honest truth was I was fooling myself, I never once had control. But the hardest part was really letting go.

            Being able to mask emotions and seem on top of the world might be normal to most people, but Christ calls true believers to a life of humility and openness. This idea of superiority is a false identity the current society forces on many.

            This past week I have handled very differently. Instead of feeding my own need to correct or construe situations in my favor, I’m finding out that loving Christ is more worth while. The time I spend trying to control my own destiny and outcomes are just seconds I have wasted in the past. Now trying to trust God in these unfavorable circumstances is more beneficial to my walk, marriage, and personal growth.