Running When Your Feet Hurt

       As I am writing this blog post, I have one final exam and less than 10 days left on Troy’s campus as an undergraduate. I just have a whirlwind of emotions right now. Joy, hope, regret, uneasiness, peace, and thankfulness. 

​The past few months have been incredibly hard. Hard to meet with God, get my school work done, make time for my wife, and finding the time to look for a job. Though it was for the sake of “graduating”, was it worth it? I spent the past month with my head up my rear end I have fallen short in almost every area of my life. Sucks to admit it, but heck…. humans suck.

​I guess figuring out where to start back with relationships, people, and God is quite exhausting. Just trying to sit down to read, my mind is prone to wander about the future, past, and anything in between. But no more.

​Today marks the start of a new chapter. Even though life doesn’t get easier, and frankly when your last name is Prince stuff doesn’t come easy, we get comfortable with it. I got comfortable working as much as I could on school work and only putting in the minimal amount of effort in my relationship with my wife and Christ. 

​But grace remains. Even in my ignorance and disobedience, Christ still calls me to life above the status quo. A life where there is more to it then graduating college, but running a constant race. Race to finish even if you feel like you cannot take another step. I wish so much to just hit the restart button and direct myself to Christ more than I have this semester or in my college career as a whole.

       More so, my wife shows compassion and patience. Even in the midst of family turmoil, she puts all of that aside to show me the compassion and understanding of Christ. She sets the expectations Christ gave and her expectations are quite clear to me. Even if it frustrates me to no end, her intentions are to stir me into good work. This quality she possesses is a blessing to me and a spectacle of beauty. 

     I say all of that to state, my feet hurt. I’ve focused on running the race, but forgot which lane I needed to be in. In this time of celebration I feel more broken, beat down, and exhausted than anything.  I forgot what I was running for. It’s not for myself or my own gain, but it is to let my life be anoffering in whatever I do, say, and think about. Though the exhaustion and pain feel like a mountain, I must stay the course by running the race.

Still Waiting

           As graduation approaches, I believe my anxiety level is still rising. Between what seems to be an undergraduate dissertation and somewhat of a social life, I feel spread thin. But that’s okay, God is still good and working!

In other posts I have talked about just waiting on God to give me a “sign” about the next step in the Princes’ adventure. Low and behold, I think I got one. Recently Sydney has expressed her desire for missions, and I’m not talking globally. After a lot of hard conversations, she told me she fills called to start a ministry in Troy. Now how do I take that? My natural (stupid) answer was, “if that were his will don’t you think I would feel that way too?” …. Wrong

After a lot of prayer, I feel that God has “put my foot in my mouth” once again. Though I am the spiritual leader of our family, that doesn’t mean God can’t speak to my wife. Thinking back on the argument, I must have looked like a complete “donkey”.

With everything in mind, God is still teaching me humility. With everything that goes into start a small ministry, all I can see are the costs. My wife can only see the benefits of starting one.  To be mindful in both areas is Godly and being a good steward, but in reality my greed prevents me from seeing the potential. Maybe it’s a part of me that still thinks we are leaving Troy or could it be my unwillingness to commit to God’s plan? More importantly, was it my pride rising up because I wasn’t the one who was called first.

I know it seems that I repeat myself, but it’s true. Again and again, my need to be self-sustaining chokes out the opportunities God has presented me with.  Not only that, put it cripples my ability to hear a word from others as well. I mean what type of person says, “Well, I don’t think we need to start a ministry.” Just stupid…

So after a few weeks of God showing me how much I suck, the answer is pretty clear. In the next few months, my wife and I will hopefully be prepared to start showing our business plan to others. Looking at the margin of what I have financially and what we need, my stomach knots up. Adding in the fact that I am still waiting for a job after graduation really adds to it. But one thing remains, God will always provide for his will. Whether that is someone writing a check or volunteers to come work once everything is said and done. Regardless the outcome or journey, He is good.  

Happy Birthday

            Like I have said in previous post, my wife and I love are home church here in Troy. There is just nothing like living life with other believers for the sake of the Gospel. We love serving and getting to know others through the church, but this week was special….

This week marks the second year Troy Church was officially planted. Needless to say everyone is on a mountain top high because of God’s faithfulness to us according to his word. Though Sydney and I started to get involved with Troy Church in November/December of 2014, we have loved the journey we have encountered because of it.

This week we actually had a birthday party for the church! It was as outrageous as you could have imagined. Cake, football, great food, and great fellowship; all the makings of a great time. But just like anything else, we needed a little bit of seriousness.

Our pastor (Jason Durant or White Chocolate on the court), shared just a few testimonies of people and family effected by Troy church. It’s so important to remember that the church is something to be nurtured and cared for. Though we are his bride and he stations us, he commands believers to enrich the body by loving each other in and out of the body.

Getting to hear stories of other church member’s journeys was so helpful and encouraging. Having Jason tells these stories reminded me of Psalms 66:16. “Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul.” (ESV)  Side Note: I feel as a Christian, I often forget the power of someone’s testimony. Of course I have given and heard testimonies, but do I sit down and reflect on them like I should? Do I just take Revelations 12:11 at face value? It’s crazy how God can just break you down mid thought and teach you His truth.

Anyways, it made me think about all the stuff Troy Church has done for us. Troy Church gave us a home. In the midst of uncomfortable situations with others, Troy Church displayed “Real Love for Real People” to us. People like George and Kristen Burrtram (who moved from Hayden, Alabama to plant this church with the Durant’s) opened up their home and hearts to us while we were complete strangers. They treated us like family the first time we met them and they have become our closest friends.

Men like Ronald Pierce and Ryan Richburg who truly care about my walk with God. Always asking me how I am and can most likely see through my bullcrap answer 90% of the time. A friend like JB Roberts who is a constant encouragement to my walk and faith in the Father.  A brother like Jason Durant, who have had more hard, yet good conversations with me than I would like to count.

These are just a few people who have made Troy Church mean so much to Sydney and I. So like everyone else has said before, Happy Birthday Troy Church!

Coping With the Fur

            For all the God-fearing dog lovers out there, this one goes out to you. This past week has been quite a hard week. Family, work, and school all “hit the fan” this week. In the midst of everything, my dogs decided to lose their minds. LIKE ALWAYS, I found my patience running thin.

Hazel (little one), Faith (red), and Maggie (brown)

          

  God decide to let me in on a little secret. Those little furry things that get on my nerves, are there to teach me patience. As the time comes to start planning for a family, of course God’s trying to teach me patience. Knowing how I was as a child, I can say they might be a little worse on the nerves.

          

  

This week I decided to have a little fun with my post and explain just what my patience goes through in my process of sanctification, with the help of some four-legged friends. These pictures will consist of our “fur babies”.

Hazel bath time

Maggie bath time

          

  Bath time….. the bane of my current existence. Between jumping out of the tub soaking wet or soapy and shaking dry in the midst of towel drying. Talk about aggravating, AND once the bath is over they resent you for it. 

Maggie's version of decorating

            

Faith on the forbidden blanket

The messes are just unreal! Between destroying toys or walking in to see one of them laying on a blanket (which is forbidden). Or my personal favorite, the blatant disobedience. Between these, my dogs keep my attention “occupied”.

         

They also love driving or at least thinking they know how. I find that every trip my wife and I go on, our dogs find their way up in the driver’s seat. Driving over the speed limit on the highway one can see how this is a recipe for disaster and irritation.

My wife and I often find them resistant to our affection. This one is more understandable because I hated my parents loving on me when I was young. Unfortunately for me, it seems these three pups go through “phases”.

But through all of these things, God is teaching me to love even when my patience is out of the window. It is so much easier to discipline and get frustrated in the heat of the moments, than it is to keep a level head. These three dogs are teaching me just that. Thought it will be easy in the future to spank my children in the heat of there disobediences, it goes so much further to love first and then act. This can be applied to my relationship with family, my wife, and friends. Because “Love covers a multitude of sins”.

  

            

The Call

       I think I spend more time worrying about the “call” on my life than actually leaving it. Currently in life, I find myself about to graduate after 5 long years in college. We all know what come after… finding a “big boy” job. But that is only half of it.

       With this new season in life approaching fast I also have to worry about finding a job were my wife can find one as well. Talk about a full plate. In the midst of the job hunt and trying to find a place to live, we constantly bombard each other with the question, “what do we feel like God’s calling us to do”.

       In this time of uncertainty and confusion, we both have been consumed with the speific “calling” God has for us. This on a healthy level is good and from the father, but are we to consumed with the call to act accordingly?

       And I find this demilma very prevalent in the church today. People are too consumed with finding out their calling from God to actually protispate in His will. Bare with me here.

     Because we spend so much more time worrying about the call on our lives, verse living the call. We desire explicit unilaterally directions from God. It seems as if we are unable to knowingly trust God without these directions. But here is the thing, we aren’t promised those directions.

       Christ has given us as believers basic actions and standards to live by. Preach the gospel, love god and love people. Of course people are called to missions and people are called to being a shepherd, but the meniscal life choice are never meant to be clear to us. If they were there would be no need for Faith.

        I find myself now praying more for a place to love people for god than I am about my job or living situation. No matter where I go in life loving people and God will always be my call. God may never tell me in a audible word or a spiritual manifested sign, but that is okay! Christ Jesus as pardoned me of my sin because of His own righteousness. Because of that gift where ever my wife and I end up, we are called to those three things.

            

Sustaining Faith

   Over the past few weeks I have been dealing with a lot of issues within my own life. I find more and more that I lack in so many areas in my life. It’s hard to see past my own pitfalls. This cycle of self-entrapment and condemnation is quite tiring in all honestly. Because I took my eye off the cross in self-pity, my time spent in prayer and the word has plummeted to an all-time low (post salvation that is).

   Even as an adult, I still fall victim to emotional highs. Even though Christ truly works in those moments, I find myself having a twisted view of reality. Of course when sin is exposed it is meant to be dealt with, but there’s not a magic recipe for a blanket fix. I have time and time again, sought that blanket fix for my life. 

   Yet, God doesn’t operate like that. If the greatest church plant and most influential man to post-resurrection biblical history has to deal with “thorns in his side”, how could I be exempt.  How could I be so vein to even entertain the idea that God would take away my thorns before I have learned.

   Today I found myself looking to 1 Corinthians. Like all good things, I started at the beginning. There have been numerous times I have read this chapter and still received confirmation about what I previously interpreted. But, today was different though.

   Today it was like I was given new eyes. Looking at this chapter I found more reassurance than anything. Verses 4-9 were like getting hit in the face after miss-catching a football throw.

  “ who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.”- 1 Corinthian 1:8

 Sustain. Do I truly believe that? We sing songs about an intimacy with God and we have sermons explaining God’s character to us, but do I lean on that truth when things get tough. To be honest, in all of the times I have read that passage, that verse has never captured my attention like it has today.

  Just like with every good and perfect gift God allows me to experience, it is still hard for me to fully grasp his good intentions toward such a sinful person.

  But, He is faithful. In the midst of my current disposition, there is someone looking out for me. From the moment I received that call out of my darkness to every mountain top experience back down to the valleys. He always sustains me.

Losing Control

Part I

            This past weekend I had the opportunity to go on a men’s retreat with Troy Church. Our “Man Cave” weekend was absolutely awesome. God truly showed up and showed out. But let me share with you leading up to the weekend.

            Leading up to the weekend, we had a men’s podcast released everyday reminding us to “get our hearts” ready. Going into the weekend, I had no clue what to expect. Getting into the meat of the subject matter of the weekend, I truly was astonished at what was revealed to me.

            The need for control. Everything in our lives we desire so much to control and rule over. This need to rule and subdue our issues goes back to the fall. Intentionally denying God’s sovereignty and love for a chance to “command our own destiny”. It seems that every time I sit down and take the time, God points out another issue I have yet to deal with or address in my own life.

            It was so difficult understanding that even in my own attempts at seeking God’s will, I still try to control the outcome of very circumstance. Whether this need for control originates from a need of vanity or an attempt to somehow govern my own life, it has to stem from the inability to fully trust God’s sovereignty. Regardless of the origin, my own depravity cripples my ability to fully trust God.

            In my marriage, personal relationships, even in my work I repeatedly damage those areas of my life because my trust in God is lacking. Once this thought began to sink in, the downward spiral proceeded. “How could I lead my wife without truly trusting God”, “How could I start a family without truly trusting God”, and “How can I truly call myself a Christian without truly trusting God”. These questions began to fill my mind like locust entering a field.

            In those moments it felt like the floor disappeared from underneath me. I even began to think that my world was falling apart. The internal and mental process of unrevealing began.

            But God…